I remember when I lost my faith.
It was my first year of college at Humboldt State University at about 8:00 in the morning, and I was drifting into and out of sleep. My mind was making strange connections. I remember that pieces were fitting themselves together, and that the conclusion that woke me up was, “and therefore, Jesus cannot be the Son of God.” Even at the time, I could not remember what the argument had been or how I had reached that conclusion, but it was to rule my religious life for the next 16 years.
When I first reached this conclusion
I lost all faith, and became an atheist. When I looked around at the world and learned about the complexity of life, and some of the wonders of the universe however, I decided that there was definitely a Creator, but that there was very little more that a person could know about this creator. I was still intensely interested in religion however, and spent years studying eastern religions (primarily Buddhism), Wicca, and Kabbalah. Because I wanted to learn what made the universe tick, I also read many books on astronomy and physics.
I was most strongly drawn toward Kabbalah
Since Kabbalah is a Jewish tradition, I was drawn more towards the western religions, Judaism, Christianity and Islam. I began reading the Tanakh (what Christians refer to as the Old Testament), but it was too hard to read. I kept getting stuck at the long lists of names, places, rules and descriptions. I listened to some commentaries on tape, and found that these commentators were getting far more from reading the same words that I had read than I had. I realized that even if I read the entire Tanakh, I would still miss many important points. This turned me from researching the western religions for a couple of years.
When I was about 26 years old
I had a few friends who were Christian. I asked them why they were Christian, and their answers were mostly emotional. This did little to change my opinion of Christianity. One of these friends did however point me to some interesting end-time prophecies. Prophecies such as that in the end times, Israel will be rebuilt, and the Jewish people would come back together (Ezekiel 37). Since this was written almost 2000 years before Israel was established in 1948, it caught my attention. Another interesting prophecy that he mentioned was that in the end-times, people would have a mark on their hand or head (Revelation 13:16-17) without which they would not be able to make purchases. He asked me, Doesn’t this sound a lot like a society in which money is accessed from a microchip implanted in the body? We have that technology now! The last prophecy that he mentioned which fascinated me was that in the end-times, there would be great increases in knowledge and travel (Daniel 12:4).
These prophecies caught my attention
and made me interested in Christianity again, but they did not prove the central idea of Christianity; specifically, that Jesus Christ was the Son of God. These end-time prophecies did not prove that Jesus was the born from a virgin, performed miracles, was killed for our sins or defeated death by coming back to life. I strongly believe in science, and science requires experimentation and proof. I could not take these amazing feats on faith, I needed proof, but I could not find any book that dealt with the proofs of who Jesus was.
I began attending church again in late 2005 at the age of 35
I asked the preacher for some good texts on prophecy. He was able to suggest some good books – books that did convert me back to Christianity after 17 years away from the church. In many cases, reading these books was as fun as staring at a wall for hours. They were very scholarly, but one had a fantastic appendix that listed all the prophecies in the Tanakh. I sat down with a Jewish copy of the Tanakh, An Old Testament, and a copy of the Septuagint, and began comparing what they said. I started to enter the prophecies I found most interesting regarding the Messiah into my computer, and from this beginning, decided to write this website.